When I first was diagnosed with my condition I was surrounded by my mom, sister and best friend. They wanted to comfort me but I felt so down I didn't want to be even touched. I was young and my heart had broken.
It is a memory I wish I could forget....not one of my proudest moments that is for sure. I just felt awful! I felt like that is when My self esteem went down hill.
How do you rebuild your self esteem? Your self image? How do you see yourself as something important and special? Someone with worth?
These are answers I am trying to find for myself right now. It is like I am rediscovering who I really am. It is a hard journey.
I wish there was a kinder word then infertility. I hate that word. It sounds degrading. It has been so hard to accept.
Thanks for listening and being there. I hope you know you aren't ever alone!
This memory may not have been one of your proudest moments, but you'll certainly look back on it as one of your defining moments. In the wake of POF, we can't help but redefine ourselves, when those cultural definitions of womanhood seem ripped away from us. In the end, I'd like to think it makes us stronger people.
ReplyDeleteThanks Keiko! You are a sweetheart!!! :) You are right!!
ReplyDeleteI am loving your blog! Those hope quotes are awesome and just what I needed to read today. As far as building a new self-image, self-esteem and buoying yourself up on those hard days. It takes time. Like you said, a lot of prayer. Service helps me A LOT and the biggest thing is patience. Patience with yourself, with what you are experiencing, with life in general. I'm not perfect at all of this yet...but after so many years of enduring infertility...I'm getting there!
ReplyDeleteThanks Christine! I love your blog also! It is so uplifting and I hope it is ok I have shared it with some of my other friends struggling with infertility. Thank you for your encouragement and your ideas of how to get through the tough days. It has been more rough lately... I don't know exactly why but I'm still moving forward. Thanks for being so awesome! HOpe you are having a good day!
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